General Humour - Cards & Wrap

"You're kinda a big deal."

"Let's start a small European country then enter Eurovision together"

"Wowies!"

"Wowies!"

"You did good"

"On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog."

"The ringing in your ears - I think I can help."

"I couldn't resist, - the second pair was free."

"I don't care if she's a tape dispenser. I love her."

"Jimmy Choo, Manolo Blahnik - honestly can't taste the difference."

"Yes, yes, yes, I miss you, too, honey. Now put the dog on."

"After we have sex, but before I kill you, I'm going to need your help with some shelves."

"Susan, this might just be the wine talking, but I think I want more wine."

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

"Dad, can I borrow your password tonight?"

"Can I call you back? I'm with a piece of string."

"Let's go somewhere and judge people"

"When I grow up I want to be a notorious homosexual"

"Shirley's new boyfriend was outstanding in his field"

"How do you keep so slim?" "With a simple daily diet of booze, fags & dogging."

"Oh God, I'm so bloody blonde sometimes!"

"I think we need to get you a new hobby that doesn't involve penises."

"It's been so long since I had sex, I don't recall who gets tied up."

"Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten."

"My friend Norman fancies you."

"Stop staring at me." "Can't"

"You, Sir, are a bumbling idiot."

"I told you I was freaky."

'Your Robe is Tucked in to the Back of Your Tights'

'Are You Going to Play that Sudoku?'

"Put the following in chronological order: Hell freezing over, world ending, plumber arriving."

"Somewhere in Eqypt: It seems to say 'Toot and come in'."

"Albert thought the girls might like a little pick-me-up after their rigorous morning workout.'

"Spring harvest"

"Budgie smugglers"

"Footy fever"

"No. Mine was the herb-crusted cob with a rocket and parmesan salad."

"I like your hair" - complimentary biscuit

"What do you say?" "Thanks b***h."

"The Curse Of The Black Furball"

"Stop staring at me."

"Can't"